A Year Of…?

Today marks one year since I started this crazy journey called blogging.  Last night, in honor of this anniversary, I sat and read through all my Northwoods Adventures posts.  Partly to see how I have grown and changed, partly just to remind myself of the good times we had last year at our little northern Michigan hideaway. (This has been an awfully long winter, I needed to remind myself that spring and summer really DO come!)

To be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about the past year as far as blogging is concerned.

I certainly haven’t set the world on fire with my writing.  I haven’t gained very many followers – and most of those that supposedly do “follow” me I think are fellow bloggers who merely follow hoping to gain more traffic for their own blogs.  Heck, even after a year I’m still not at all sure what I want my blog to be when it grows up.  Most days I consider throwing in the towel and giving it all up.

I know what I’m not.

I’m not a photographer.  I have a nice little camera that takes nice pictures that I and my friends enjoy, but I don’t have expensive equipment or professional training.

I’m not a philosopher.  I don’t feel right giving anyone else advice or acting like an expert on anything when most days I’m lucky to remember how to tie my own shoes.

I’m not a debater.  Even though I have strong opinions and beliefs, I don’t share them easily in an open forum because I hate confrontation and debate.  As much as I would love to receive more comments on my posts, I do not want to have any long, drawn out virtual arguments with people I don’t even know.

Yeah, I know what I’m NOT, but I’m still not sure I know what I AM.

Okay, I’m a preschool teacher who barely has time to get meat out for dinner in the mornings and who comes home feeling like the zombies have sucked my brain out of my skull, which doesn’t leave much energy for creative blogging content.

I’m a pseudo-writer who has self-published six books with limited success – maybe just a tad more than what I’ve gained with my blog.

I’m an avid reader who enjoys doing book reviews but seriously, I don’t think anyone really cares.

I’m a lover of my beagles, the outdoors, birds, up-north Michigan, hiking, hockey, cooking.  I think I’m a pretty interesting person with lots of different interests, someone who loves learning new things, compassionate and understanding and a pretty good listener to other peoples’ stories.  But does anyone want to read about my day?  And seriously, when would I have time to write it all down??

So, what to do about this blog?  I really don’t know.  The truth is, I have learned a few things through this process.  My “techo-dumbness” has improved significantly since I have been forced to learn new things through this experience.  For example, I learned that you should not ever delete photos from your archives because if you do they will disappear from the posts you inserted them into and that will just look majorly stupid!

I have gained a few good friends through this blog – especially Jerry at Quiet Solo Pursuits, Bob at Texas Tweeties, and H.J. at Avian 101.  I’ve also received encouragement at times when I was really down and feeling like it’s all pretty pointless and futile.  Some good friends have come alongside me and bumped my confidence when I was feeling pretty low.  Sometimes I’ve even been told I helped someone with my writing on here.

I still don’t know what I want this blog to be when it grows up.  I don’t even know if it matters one way or another if this blog continues.

In a perfect world I would have more time.  I would have more witty things to say.  I would take better photos and inspire people with my wisdom and creativity.  Well, as we all know, this world is far from perfect so the truth is I will probably just keep stumbling along, wishing for the time to write more and better posts that people would actually care about.  In less than two months school will be out for the summer and I will have more time. (I hope!)  We will soon be resuming our trips to the northwoods and that will give me more interesting things to write about.  That place is what truly inspires me.

The past year has been a year of learning, a year of challenges, a year of examining my life and trying to decide what I want.  (That’s one thing I still haven’t figured out.)  It has been a year of making new friends, overcoming sickness, publishing a new book, and pressing on when I wanted to quit (just about everything!).

Thank you to all of you that have joined me on this journey called blogging, who have supported and encouraged and followed me.  I appreciate your friendship, your patience, your loyalty and the time you take to read my meanderings.  With your help, and the Lord, I will eventually find my way!